My Kids Everlasting Love
I wake up every morning thank God for giving me such wonderful kids. They listen to me and do what they ask. For the past years they struggle and dealt with my mental illness but it seemed that was the way I could inspire Nathan 21, Darin 17, Dylan 15, and Evelyn Skye 8, to action taking care of themselves and each other on days when I can't function. My kids understand I need to know that they love and accept me unconditionally. They don't feel awkward about saying "I love you." I tell them all the time. The love from them is healing but I would feel I don't deserve it. They need a strong mom, not a crazy sick mom. I love them so much for not letting my illness damaged them. They truly understand and allow me to expressed how I feel...the ups and downs. They saw it all.
Darin said, "Regardless you are our mom and will always be our mom. You took care of us all these years and now it is our turn to take care of you, so just relax. Love you"
Nathan said, "Everyone is crazy, mom. You are different but you need to let go and don't try to control something beyond your control. We understand you have a mental illness but so what. It doesn't change you as a mom. You are strong and once you get it, you will be way better than ever. Chill out, mom. We love you and seeing you go through your trials and errors made us stronger."
Dylan said, "You will be okay, mom. I know you are sick. You can talk to me. I'm here for you. We can take care of ourselves. Stop worrying. We love you."
Evelyn Skye said, "Mom, you have a big balloon inside your head. It is filled with a lot of emotions. You need to pop it, let everything come out. I know you love me. I love you, too."
I show my kids that they have my full attention and I care enough to listen to them. I believe that the goal of parenting isn't to shelter our children. The WAY we talk to our kids has a significant impact on their learning and ability to listen to us. We need to have open communication.
I talk very openly to my children about living with mental illness and how I'm learning to manage the symptoms. They experienced the mania, the depression, and the psychotic sides of my illness. They don't see me as a sick mom. I'm normal to them.
Today is a huge difference compare to a couple years ago. I've realized just how much the parent-child relationship affects their development, both emotionally and mentally. My relationship with my kids are stronger ever since I quit my job and stayed home. I'm lucky to have this precious time with them. It's not about me. It's about laying a good foundation for my children.
My purpose in life are my children and I must work harder to be well for them.
