Hyper-Religiosity is a Part of Mania
I read about hyper-religiosity is a part of mania.The writer of this article speak to people about his manic and psychotic episodes which have all included feelings of understanding and knowing God and noticing an unquestionable faith, a faith that is more difficult to maintain when he is stable. At the most extreme of these experiences was the time that he actually thought that he was touched by Jesus, followed by his manic and psychotic mind taking the delusion even further into believing that he was seeing angels. An enormous amount of information flooded his brain as he seemed to take on supernatural powers, acquiring knowledge that he believed was flowing from other dimensions that “normal” people are unable to detect. However, now experiencing stability, he don’t have all of that false information. I'm astounded after reading this. It was exactly how I used to feel, think, say, and madly wrote about it.
Right now I feel different. I don't have the urge to write because I have no racing thoughts. I'm not reading the bible like there is no tomorrow and writing about it. I feel much slower than I normally feel. I asked myself if this is how being balance feel. I'm not caught up with thoughts of God or write nonstop about spiritual experiences and I'm not seeing bright lights I believe are angels.
I went back reading all my past blog and realized I was so religious and maybe I was off when I wrote all that. I think I was manic when I was writing most of it. I find it difficult to maintain my extreme thoughts about faith when I am feeling somewhat stable. I think the medications, lithium and zyprexa, is suppressing the bipolar symptoms because I don't feel manic or psychotic. I am not being overwhelmed with religious thoughts and feelings. My energy at this level is new to me. I sit at my desk in my room wondering what is happening. I'm so weirded out. I'm trying to not overthink this. Now experiencing a little stability, it's like I lost my third eye. I don't have all of that false religious information. My mind is not going on and on about the past experiences. My head is not overloaded with so much things, it feels nice. I have no doubt about everything I wrote on my blog are the truth how I felt and believe at that time. Whether it was real or if it was my imagination -- it doesn't matter. I feel I have evolved and my perspective always changes for the better. I can now differentiate what I write when I'm well and when I'm unwell.
