Word of Knowledge
The physical healing class started this week. I just finished writing this assignment after watching the video of Dr. Clark teaching about the Word of Knowledge.
I found most helpful from Dr. Clark’s workshop when he defined the Word of Knowledge is the understanding of getting information from God where you couldn’t know in the natural and that knowledge are supernatural given. The gift of faith and the gift of miracles goes together. The four important words — “He is calling you.” Jesus healed all who came to him. Heal the sick and cast out demons are important and that’s what Jesus do.
Dr Clark said there are seven ways you can get the Word of Knowledge: You can feel it, you can think it, you can see it, you can read it, you can say it, you can experience it, you can dream it.
This remind me there were times when I am negatively affected from my experiences and reminiscing memories I had that were very intense mystical experiences at church. I believe I received the Word of Knowledge during these experiences that God was slowly healing me from my mental illnesses.
I remember being very sick and haven’t slept for 3 days; I went to a new church for the first time. During worship I got so overstimulated. I have never been to a charismatic church. I felt disoriented as I was forced to the front for my turn to receive healing, I didn’t understand what was happening. I was petrified. I was no longer in the right state of mind, I become dysfunctional and dissociated. That night I mentally disappeared and different alters took control over my body, parts of the experience that night had vanished into a black hole of lost memories - leaving me vulnerable to vivid flashbacks in dreams. I knew something happened at church but couldn’t recall the experiences for 3 weeks then it finally dawned on me the dreams were real memories that was slowly returning. The experiences resulted me having dreams that were in bits and pieces of memories that I suppressed.
1. I dream it, I dreamed about the experiences at the church many times. In the dreams I felt a profound disconnection from my body, floating outside me and observing myself from the distance. The dreams brought me back to the incidents at the church. From the perspective of my mentally ill mind that interpreted the dreams like this — I was at church I saw I was a baby (my inner child) crying on the floor and I felt I was in danger. I saw myself from above that I switched to another alter I called Beast (my protector) came to the rescue. I felt Beast intense energy. I had the vision of Beast being cornered against the wall in front of the church. Dark shadows were surrounded her so she ran, crawled, kicked, jumped over rows of chairs to escape pushing everyone away. There was a light so bright made Beast fell to the floor as many hands were trying to hold her down. Then that moment I saw myself switched into a another different alter named Lola (the dominant director).
2. I say it, when Lola looked straight into that pastor’s eyes and told her to stop. I saw in my dream the pastor yelled in Lola’s face, “No! You demon. What is your name?!” Lola didn’t response then I saw myself switched back to the baby and cried. I woke up from that dream feeling disoriented.
From a reality perspective the dream was a real occurrence and I know now it was from a fight-or-flight experience in which triggered the Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), my mental illness. I was frightened to death and couldn’t cope at that time, so I become dissociated, and my Parts took over my body to help me. The baby, Beast, and Lola are all me as one but my mind can split into different separate Alters to dealt with the extremely stressful situation. The people at the church witnessing what is medically called “switching” that they didn’t understand so they tried to performed an exorcism on me. After I gained my conscious back I had amnesia. No one tried to explain anything to me.
During the second experience I was standing in front of the pastor and holding her hands for her to pray on me. I saw a blindly bright light and two things happened. From the outside, I was still physically there not knowing I was fighting the pastor, I fell on the floor spinning in circle, then levitated from the ground going to the cross with my eyes closed, and held on to it crying uncontrollably. From the inside, I mentally I went deep inside my mind and see myself sitting on a chair in a dark room as I cried out repeatedly, “I can’t hear you, Pastor!” I felt a powerful force crashed through the wall and a heavenly strong hand grabbed mine and pulled me out from my own mind. I woke up to the reality not knowing what really happened. I put the experiences aside because no one talked to me about it.
Then the third experience there at church we were watching the movie Passion of Christ. When suddenly I looked up in the ceiling and saw bright lights that scared me so I ran from it and blindly crawled under rows of chairs trying to hide. People were trying to pull me out from there but I was extremely strong and held on tight refused to come out. I heard a spiritual voice said, “feel me.” Instead of obeying, I was set in my own way becoming dissociative. I lost time and laid on the floor hearing a voice told me to, “feel me,” inside my head. I cried like I never cried before in my life as I felt excruciating pain all over my body. I screamed out because it was so painful beyond words.
3. I feel it, the pain that was not my pain. I believe I felt the pain of Jesus when he was crucified on the cross.
4. I see it, I thought the bright flashing lights in my vision were there to harm me but it was truly the lights were angels holding me up instead.
5. I think it, God supernaturally showed me the angelic hosts who were there to protect me from what these experiences could have been - a catastrophic situation. The pain I felt was Jesus’s pain dying on the cross for us. I had tunnel vision and I can’t be put in a box.
6. I experienced it, I can now see beyond my own pain and suffering because I felt the emotions from Jesus. I can feel other’s people pain too. I am firmly convinced that God sent angels to advise me. It’s very terrifying to be touched by the heavens like this. Having felt what I felt was not exaggerating.
7. I read it, the verses in the Bible I see when Jesus intervened as he wants me to feel his emotions. Fear always swept over me; I was not prepared for those experiences I had at this church. God put me there teaching me something I couldn’t comprehend because he has given me something supernatural to allow me to heal myself.
I can apply these insights into my own practice because I received the Word of Knowledge I've had what might be described as a spiritual experiences in all seven ways Dr. Clark said that were so profound that it completely changed the way I viewed reality and I can honestly say hand on heart this was 100% true with no stretch of imagination, this happened exactly like this.
